Remember That Petition You Signed As A Freshman? Well, Now Your Family Is Being Held For Ransom

WESTWOOD — Fourth-year Patricia Le received news today that her family is being held for ransom after signing an environmental petition that exposed all their personal information in her freshman year. “I swear the first page said I was supporting better homes for baby otters! Now this anonymous note is demanding a suitcase of perfectly stacked cash to free my family,” stated Le, who has a history of writing her full address on every petition with a clipboard on Bruinwalk. “I assumed they were just going to use my social security number to confirm my identity as a real environmentalist! How was I supposed to know it was a scam?!” At press time, Le’s family sent a video message from an empty warehouse saying they were “fit as a fiddle.”

About Cynthia Tran 5 Articles
Cynthia is a fourth-year English major who laughs way too hard before saying the actual joke. She's funny once she finishes her sentences though.