Powell Cat Denies BBL Allegations

WESTWOOD— Campus celebrity Powell Cat has been looking especially juicy lately, and fans allege that he has had a Brazilian Butt Lift. “It’s disappointing to hear my admirers doubting that this voluptuous figure is my natural look,” said Powell Cat, his thick cheeks clapping as he groomed himself. “I’ve never been to Brazil. If I had gotten work done- I didn’t- but if I had- it would have been done in Colombia, making it a CBL instead of a BBL anyway. Checkmate!” At press time, Powell Cat was responding to new plastic surgery allegations which suggest that he has previously had both of his testicles removed.

About Gillian Smith 26 Articles
Flavius Octavius Julius Gaius Septimius, known colloquially as "Gillian the Great," is the 71st emperor of Rome. Her notable achievements include winning the 2021 Maryland BOGGLE state championship and not being assassinated yet.