POINT: Walk Your Fucking Wheels / COUNTERPOINT: *Whoosh*

Point

Walk Your Fucking Wheels!

By: Ryan Singh

adfHey! Watch it, asshole! You almost hit me!

Can’t you read the signs?! This is a dismount zone! Pedestrians have priority!

You think you’re hot shit weaving through the crowd like that? Well here’s some news for you, pal! You’re not! You’re just being an inconsiderate prick!

FYI, no one thinks you’re cool because you just kick-flipped in the middle of that tour group. They think you’re a bone-headed jerk for endangering other people!

One of these days, you’re going to seriously hurt someone, skating around like that! Is it really worth someone else’s livelihood to get to class a few minutes faster?!

There are children walking through here for God’s sake! Just pick up your damn board and quit being such a selfish douchebag! Think about someone but yourself for a change! Your actions do have consequences!

I’m tired of constantly being clipped and cut off by you insensitive skater punks! I’m fed up with having to walk to class in a constant state of fear for my own welfare because of your lot’s blatant disregard for others.

The only people worse than you assholes are the incompetent UCPD that never does anything to stop you!

It’s not even that hard! All you have to do is dismount and carry your board while on Bruin Walk! Even a nitwit like you should be able to accomplish that much!

So please, do the right thing and walk your fucking wheels!!!

Counterpoint

*Whoosh*

By: Chad Young

11269297_1015224491823806_459018866791823659_o*Whoosh*

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About Christopher Wong 25 Articles
A founding member of the Westwood Enabler, Chris is an aspiring comedy writer who sometimes writes in the third person. He's a real dreamboat. Website: untimelybreath.wordpress.com Twitter: @chrisdemeaner