Pita Chips Just An Excuse To Eat 7 Oz Of Hummus

Jacobs claims she would use a spoon if it were appropriate to do so.

LOS ANGELES — Local woman Evita Jacobs confirmed last Friday that the bag of pita chips she had purchased was just an excuse to eat an entire 7-ounce tub of hummus for lunch. “I don’t want these pita chips at all. They’re just a sad, crunchy pretext – mere pawns in what can only be described as the tahini tyranny of my eating habits,” explained Jacobs as she dipped a pita chip into the plastic tub of roasted red pepper hummus. “It’s like when you eat carrot sticks just for the taste of ranch dressing, or become friends with the Japanese neighbor kid just to learn his ancient kung-fu secrets. I see each pita chip as nothing more than hummus delivery vehicle on a one-way trip to my impatient, greedy maw.” At press time, Jacobs was seen licking the hummus off of the container’s plastic seal after finishing the last of what was in the tub.

About Jasmine Don 30 Articles
Jasmine is best known for her work eating the bones and skin off of the boneless skinless chicken breasts at the super market. She's also the one who paints tropical frogs bright colors so we know which ones are poisonous.