FACEBOOK—Noting that its presence as a social event had long since run its course, Paris reported last night that your profile picture, still emblazoned with the French flag, is so temporally distant from the attacks last November that it has become flat-out creepy. “At first we thought it was just laziness or inactivity that kept you from changing it,” the city added, after its memory was refreshed by the press about what your profile picture was even referencing. “Seriously, it’s been, like, four months. Find another tragedy.” At press time, Beirut, Kenya, and Baghdad were all unwilling to comment, except to frustratedly note, “We just want this whole thing to finally blow over.”
