Op-Ed: So Help Me God, There Will be A Canyon In Sunset Canyon Recreation Center By The Time I Graduate

UCLA has a serious problem with misleading its students. It starts when you get all those pamphlets and brochures in the mail before you even apply to school. We all remember the empty promises they made—things like “It’s sunny all the time!” even though it rains occasionally, or “there’s a club for everyone!” even though my roommate applied to join that club that demands you wear shorts every day and didn’t make it past the interview process. Frankly, this university is dishonest, and I’ve had enough.

If you think all these secrets, lies, and alibis stop at the admissions department, think again, buddy. That’s just the beginning. Once you get into the school and realize things aren’t all they’re cracked up to be on campus tours and the school’s social media pages, the lies just keep coming.

I’ve been into the Wooden Center at least eight times and haven’t seen a single piece of wood. I stepped on the sixth step of Janss and I’m not even a little bit cursed. But do you know what really grinds my gears? The fact that the Sunset CANYON Recreation Center doesn’t have a single canyon in it!

Believe me, I’ve looked far and wide to find this canyon so proudly advertised on all the signage for the recreation center. It just isn’t there. As a matter of fact, there isn’t a canal or a ditch that could kind of maybe be considered a canyon if you were really willing to stretch the truth. The myth of the sunset canyon is blatant fallacy.

Fear not, though, my fellow Bruins. In an effort to maintain the honesty advertised as one of our True Bruin Values, I promise you, there will be a canyon in the Sunset Canyon Recreation Center by the time I graduate.

I will work tirelessly day and night to ensure this is the case. I will dig and dig until my hands become shovels if need be. I only have three more weeks to make this happen, but so help me God, it will.

If you are passionate about shovels and honesty, join me, for we are stronger together.