Op-Ed: Cynthia, We’re Done, Please Drop 14C So I Don’t Have To

Cynthia, we’re done. I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry we broke up, but we had to. It really wasn’t working out. We’ve sorted our stuff out now and avoid each other in the dining halls, but there’s one last thing we have to discuss.

I need you to drop Chemistry 14C.

Listen, I know we enrolled in it together, and it was going to be “so fun” to have the same discussion section, but it’s just gotten really awkward and I want it to stop. I fucking waited up all night for someone to drop so I could enroll and I’m not going to drop it now. So you have to.

I know we can just avoid eye contact and pretend we don’t see each other for the next 5 or 6 weeks but I don’t feel like dealing with this anymore. Cynthia, you have to drop 14C. I know you’re going to be here for summer school anyways so just take it then. You’re already in 4 classes right now! Four! I’m just in three, so if I drop 14C I’m not even fully enrolled anymore. Just drop it, Cynthia, seriously!

If you can’t drop 14C (which you can), could you at least try to find a different discussion section or something? Jesus. I’m sick of seeing your sad face four times a week. Now go sign into MyUCLA and drop 14C or I’m going to have to passive-aggressively ask our mutual friends to give you a talking-to.