Op-Ed: As An Intellectual, I Eagerly Await The Return Of Rick And Morty

Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines “Wubba lubba dub dub” as an expression of jubilation, an exclamation of pure joy, and a rallying battle cry of the underdogs; however, it means so much more to me. It is the feeling one gets when their gigantic brain is stimulated by the interdimensional cerebral orgy that is none other than the greatest television show of all time, Rick and Morty. It is also what love would feel like, I assume.

As a PhD student here in the esteemed UCLA Physics department, specifically astrophysics, I feel as though this show was designed just for me. Why, you ask? Because I am so extremely clever, bright, intelligent, sharp, and sharp-witted. And those are definitely not the first five words that come up when you google synonyms for “smart” on Google. I birthed all of those words from my cavernous brain.

It takes a special kind of person to truly understand Rick and Morty, what with the interdimensional travel, multiple timelines, exploration of the principles of nihilism, the ins and outs of marriage, they use the word “cesium,” and other astrophysics concepts so cunningly intertwined with plotlines so complex that for the average person, following them is almost as Herculean a task as following this sentence. I, however, can follow them as easily as an episode of Dora, a lecture on how many planets there are (six by the way), or a girl as she walks home.

In conclusion, I am as happy as a fart cloud singing about moonmen, as jazzed as a Gazorpazorpian male with its first female sex robot, and as blindly ready to jump into the new season as Ants-In-My-Eyes-Johnson. As Mr. Poopybutthole would say, ooh weeeeeee!*




*Author’s Note: Those are all Rick and Morty references, you plebeian sack of shit.