Oops, Grandma Ate A Plastic Egg And Now We’re Praying For A Second Resurrection

USC MEDICAL CENTER — Bringing a tragic end to a day of religious festivities, Grandma ate a plastic egg, and now we’re asking God in all His glory for a second Easter resurrection. “God bless her, Gramma’s eyesight finally gave out this year. She thought she was leeching an egg off the neighbor’s hens for cheap and cooked it up while we were getting Uncle Dan into the bunny suit,” said Grandma’s daughter Mary Beth Atkins, who rushed Grandma to the ER after finding her eating runny purple polymer with avocado and toast. “We’re hopeful because Gramma and Jesus already have a lot in common. Both were big fans of wine, had pretty serious daddy issues, and some people in this family are more at peace believing they were white.” At press time, God was too busy celebrating Passover to respond to the Atkins family’s requests.”