LOS ANGELES— Notoriously Pretty Celebrity was noticeably less pretty than usual today when she emerged from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after giving birth to twins. “While I don’t expect every female celebrity to adhere to my unrealistic, Eurocentric standards of beauty, it’s Notoriously Pretty Celebrity’s job to be hot. Who told her she could take a day off from providing visual pleasure to me and my bros?” said onlooker Vince McDonovan as he adjusted his snapback and whistled at a passerby. “My standards really aren’t that ridiculous, dude. I mean, it’s not like I expect this kind of unattainable physical perfection from the token fat, funny celebrities.” At press time, Notoriously Pretty Celebrity was struggling to cope with the crushing reality that she would be raising her children in a “staggeringly chauvinistic patriarchal hellhole.”
About Sierra Scott 24 Articles
Sierra is an accomplished writer who has been with the Westwood Enabler for as long as many can remember. Years? No. Decades? No. The ancient Mesopotamians referred to her as "Shalduth, the Night Bringer" but she usually goes by "Sierra."