
CENTRAL AFRICA — A new study from the jungle has found that this other gorilla is seriously starting to piss me off. “Stop copying me!” said my nemesis, saying it exactly as I said it. “You think you invented banging on your chest and peeing in a line? That was my idea first! No, not you, don’t say that! Me!” At press time, researchers had discovered a strange invisible barrier separating me from my mortal enemy.