New Study Reveals All

WESTWOOD — A new study from UCLA has revealed the intimate, juicy details of her life in an exclusive tell-all interview with the Enabler. “You don’t get to seven ex-husbands without a couple good stories to share, darling,” said the study, sprawled on a chaise lounge in her $25 million Beverly Hills mansion and smoking a cigarette. “My entire life, I’ve been exploited by scientists and researchers trying to use me to prove their silly little theories — I’m done with that. I’m ready to come back into the spotlight.” At press time, the study was photographed by paparazzi having a lengthy “peer review” session with her new boyfriend, Terence Tao.

About Maya Chatrathi 7 Articles
Having only recently gained sentience, Maya Chatrathi is working twice as hard to get up to speed. Please be patient with her through this adjustment period.