New Study Reveals All

WESTWOOD — A new study from UCLA has revealed the intimate, juicy details of her life in an exclusive tell-all interview with the Enabler. “You don’t get to seven ex-husbands without a couple good stories to share, darling,” said the study, sprawled on a chaise lounge in her $25 million Beverly Hills mansion and smoking a cigarette. “My entire life, I’ve been exploited by scientists and researchers trying to use me to prove their silly little theories — I’m done with that. I’m ready to come back into the spotlight.” At press time, the study was photographed by paparazzi having a lengthy “peer review” session with her new boyfriend, Terence Tao.

About Maya Chatrathi 29 Articles
Having only recently gained sentience, Maya Chatrathi is working twice as hard to get up to speed. Please be patient with her through this adjustment period.