Nation Wishes Warren Beatty Had Announced Presidential Election

The Academy Award winner is a favorite to announce the 2018 Midterm Elections.

LOS ANGELES — After Warren Beatty mistakenly announced the wrong winner of Best Picture at the Oscars, Americans around the country were heard wishing that he had done the same for the presidential election. “Man, wouldn’t it have been great if old Warren had announced Trump winning the election? And then, like thirty seconds later, he picks us up from sobbing on the floor with a revelation that Hillary won. That would have been great,” said Samantha Riley, a Dolby Theater usher. “But no, it was Wolf Blitzer, dammit, and that man just had to be correct. Life is so fucking unfair.” As celebrities filed out, people could be heard chanting “Not My Best Picture” in the distance.

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Kushal is a hurricane hitting a Brachiosaurus stuck in rush hour traffic. He is the harmless prank phone call that frightens your mother into moving your entire family eight counties away. He is the smell of freshly baked cookies eerily emanating from an abandoned mental asylum. He is an amazing writer and incredible talent.