My Sons, Ranked

1. Lonzo

Lonzo’s the biggest baller out there. He’s inherited my amazing basketball skills, and is going to win MVP every year he’s in the NBA. A Wilt Chamberlain-Oscar Robertson love child would have no chance against him.

2. (tie) LaMelo

My other favorite son is only 15 and he’s already a Big Baller. Michael Jordan in his prime couldn’t beat him or even dribble a ball against him.

3. LiAngelo

He exists.