Moonlight’s Win Absolves Academy of Passive Racial Exclusivity

Karen is feeling good.

LOS ANGELES — Following Moonlight‘s Oscars win for Best Picture, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was happily absolved of all racial prejudice in its 89-year history. “To whomever calls us ‘whitewashed’, let me point out that a production with a predominantly African-American cast and crew was given the most coveted film award in the world,” Academy member Karen Johnson said. While some people celebrated the win of a movie that chronicles the realities of a black man in America, Johnson was still concerned with assuaging the disappointed white fans of La La Land. “Don’t worry, it was really close. Moonlight just edged out that hyper-stylized movie about the deep, relatable, and often unexamined struggles of being young and white in Hollywood,” Johnson clarified. When asked about the fact that over 90 percent of Academy voters are white, Johnson maintained that they all have black friends.