Man Excited By Text Realizes It’s Only BruinAlert Testing

Bitch you thought
Bitch you thought

WESTWOOD — Area man Justin Chang received a text on Friday evening while sitting at home and flipping between porn and Netflix, only to realize that it was a BruinAlert test. “Oh boy, maybe it’s one of my really close friends that I sometimes message on Facebook. Or that girl who was in my study group last quarter,” Chang said, before picking up his phone to read the message. The text message received appeared to be BruinAlert’s quarterly testing message, upon which Chang said, “Oh. It’s BruinAlert. Okay.” The young man then grabbed a package of Oreos and a tissue box before returning to his laptop.

About Kushal Chatterjee 60 Articles
Kushal is a hurricane hitting a Brachiosaurus stuck in rush hour traffic. He is the harmless prank phone call that frightens your mother into moving your entire family eight counties away. He is the smell of freshly baked cookies eerily emanating from an abandoned mental asylum. He is an amazing writer and incredible talent.