Loser Plays As Mario In MarioKart

MUSHROOM KINGDOM— Area dude Brad McIntyre bored gamers everywhere Tuesday when he chose Mario as his racing character in the hit Nintendo game MarioKart. “I love MarioKart! My favorite tracks to race are Mario Circuit, GCN Mario Circuit, and Mario Circuit 3,” said McIntyre, who still hasn’t figured out how to drift. “Sometimes, when I really feel like switching it up, I switch from the Standard Kart to the Standard Bike.” At press time, McIntyre threw a red shell and missed.

About Gillian Smith 50 Articles
Flavius Octavius Julius Gaius Septimius, known colloquially as "Gillian the Great," is the 71st emperor of Rome. Her notable achievements include winning the 2021 Maryland BOGGLE state championship and not being assassinated yet.