Local School Shuns Seesaw For Fat-Shaming

Playgrounds all around the country are undergoing reform to promote positive body image.

BRENTWOOD—In an unfortunate incident that drew the attention of parents and plump kids across the country, Heatherwood Elementary School’s Leslie Mitchell found himself unable to take part in the pleasures of seesawing during recess. “He just sat there, bawling his eyes out. We eventually called his parents to take him home. It was getting dark out, and little Timmy on the other end of the plank was losing sensation in his legs.” said Mary Fischer, a fourth grade teacher at Heatherwood. School authorities reported that in light of the inanimate nature of the bigot, the most they could do was remove it from the playground. “The principal is on the look-out for a heavy duty swing set to replace the see-saw, and we hope that young Leslie will be able to fully enjoy the swings, once we find someone who can push him on it.”