

LOS ANGELES—After having lived a life completely unmolested by the truth of organized religion, 43 year old lawyer Toby Gilson’s life was completely transformed last Friday by a chance encounter with the powerful symbol of Christian faith, the hollow fish—known worldwide for its high spiritual and low mercury content. “I was speechless—I saw the fish, immediately knew what it probably meant, and what that meaning might mean for how I should live my life, and what more can you say? I’ve been set free,” said Toby, adding that even though he had heard whispers of what a God might be, never before was it so clearly illustrated and easily digestible in rush hour traffic. When asked how such a transformation could be possible for someone not imprisoned or destitute, Toby replied, “If it’s good enough for the bumper of that Mazda, it’s good enough for my eternal soul.”