Local Hero At Kerckhoff Watching Everyone’s Stuff

WESTWOOD — Second-year economics major Joshua Wadams has been hailed as a local hero following his efforts to simultaneously look after the personal belongings of everyone at Kerckhoff Coffee House, regardless of whether he had been asked to do so. “I’m just doing what any upstanding citizen would do,” said Wadams, eyes scanning the room for potential threats. “People need to be able to go to the bathroom with peace of- HEY! You over there! Yeah I’m talking to you, dipshit! Step away from her backpack!” At press time, Wadams was taking care of business in the courtyard.

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