LAPD Finds All Suspects Of Murder Case In Break Room

LOS ANGELES — In what must have been either a stroke of luck or an eerie coincidence, the Los Angeles Police Department discovered every suspect of an ongoing murder investigation in their break room on Friday. “Duncan and Big Ted – I mean, the suspects – were just sipping their coffee like any other day,” said Detective Jacob Broener, who has been detaining the suspects on paid leave. “As it turns out, we just learned they were acting in self-defense or something, so we won’t be continuing the investigation after all! Just a typical day at the office.” At press time, Broener had eyes on the suspect of an assault case in his bedroom mirror.

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Maxwell "Rough n Tumble" "Go Buy Me Some Vegan Snacks" Geronimo "Geronimo" Flora wastes a lot of time on this publication.