Joe Bruin Comes Out

WESTWOOD — In honor of Pride Month, Joe Bruin has come out as homosexual. “You like that, gays?” said a spokesperson for the mascot during the True Bruin Born This Way Pride Month Slay Parade held in honor of Joe Bruin this past Friday. “To celebrate this momentous moment in LGBTQIA+ history, ASUCLA is releasing a new line of pride merch, including leather studded jackets to celebrate bear culture, hoodies with a new limp-wristed design of Joe Bruin, and ‘UCLA Beard’ shirts for our Josie Bruin fans.” An anonymous informant also claimed that the university plans to reveal that Josie Bruin is polyamorous next June.

About Jade Lacy 46 Articles
Jade is an enigma, the shadow at the edge of your vision, the personification of night, and a fourth-year English major and Asian American Studies Minor. She enjoys creeping into your nightmares and creative writing.