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Jan. 24, 2016

January 25, 2016 Enabler Staff News In Pictures 0

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  • Jay Leno Arrested After Aiming Chin At Conan O’Brien At Oscars Afterparty

    HOLLYWOOD — Vanity Fair’s 2025 Oscar Party dissolved into a state of panic after former Tonight Show host Jay Leno aimed his chin at fellow […]

  • “Old UCLA Hoodie And Jeans” Receives Oscar For Best Costume Design

    HOLLYWOOD — Tonight, the Academy of Motion Arts and Pictures has announced that the modern-classic, “Old UCLA Hoodie and Jeans,” has won an Oscar for […]

  • UCLA Housing Signs Dorm Furnishing Contract With Temu

    WESTWOOD — In anticipation of even less housing space and even more budget cuts, UCLA Housing has attempted to cut costs by signing a dorm […]

  • Nun holding anal beads in front of gloryhole

    Local Nun Confused By Concept Of “Gloryhole”

    WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Sunday, a local nun was found baffled after she overheard the term “gloryhole” when she went to a park restroom during […]

  • U.S. Army Chorus Perform ‘Do You Hear The People Sing’ In Brave Protest Against Themselves

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Army Choir, who thought that ‘Les Miserables’ was French for ‘Miserable Lesbians’, conducted a fearless uprising against the U.S. military […]

Featured Authors

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Azalea Morris
  • U.S. Army Chorus Perform ‘Do You Hear The People Sing’ In Brave Protest Against Themselves
  • 4 Things I Refuse To Apologize For After Being Held Hostage By The Pirates Of The Caribbean Animatronics For 93 Days
  • Opinion: I’m Evacuating With My Custom Fantasy Tentacle Dildo And That’s IT
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Barrett Willet
  • Douchebag Dogwhistle: Avoid Men Who Use The Phrase “Walkable Cities”
  • Local White Boy Makes Big Splash In Intramural Dodgeball Scene
  • Historic UCLA Rugby Hazing Ritual Ruined By Guy Who Just Loves To Drink Piss
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Maggie Kwan
  • STEM Major Still Has To Google Unit Circle
  • “The Democrats Ought To Do Something,” Says Democratic Lawmaker Doing Nothing
  • Opinion: If Your Class Has A Week 9 Midterm, I Should Be Allowed To Skip The Final

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