
LOS ANGELES — According to various sources, Jack Nicholson, the actor best known for his roles in iconic films like The Shining and Chinatown, was found alive in his Beverly Hills home this morning at the age of 84. “We responded to a call from a concerned neighbor to find Mr. Nicholson in his house, responsive,” said LAPD Officer Jake Torrance, requesting that members of the press please respect the Nicholson family’s privacy during this not so difficult time. “We know what he has meant to so many people, and Mr. Nicholson is doing his best to personally retweet each and every tribute to his career. However, he admits that he is a little confused by their timing.” A vigil is being held tonight to celebrate the life of the legendary actor, who himself is planning on tucking in early, likely around 8:30 or 8:45.