We all know how it goes. You run out of masks or printer ink or clean underwear, and you need more ASAP. There’s only one option: get some from the evil megacorporation taking over the globe, with free one day shipping! But what do you do when the package shows up and your roommates start questioning your political views? This handy guide provides you with the perfect buzzwords to justify using Amazon to your leftist friends.
1. Intersectionality
It’s easy to make broad statements like “when you buy from Amazon, you endorse a company that abuses the working class, destroys small businesses, and harms the environment,” but intersectionality reminds us to consider the overlapping identities that complicate our lives. Like the identity of wanting something and being too lazy to go to the store and buy it.
2. Solidarity
Not everyone has easy access to affordable living necessities. Of course, you’re not one of those people. But buying from Amazon shows that you see the struggle of those less fortunate than you and seek to understand it.
3. Critical Race Theory
I have a theory that it’s critical Amazon workers race my package to me. And if you don’t support that then you’re no better than a conservative.
4. White Privilege
Websites like Etsy are full of small businesses created by bored white women. Say adiós to white privilege by buying products off of Amazon, many of which are made by Black and brown children.
5. Cultural Appropriation
Many cultures value connection with nature and eco-friendly existence. You wouldn’t want to appropriate that experience. Better to just get your stuff delivered.
6. Microaggression
When you buy from Amazon, you’re fighting microaggressions by committing macroaggressions against just about every marginalized group on the planet.
