How To Show Your Mother You Care

(Source: pixabay)
(Source: pixabay)
(Source: pixabay)

This Mother’s Day, use these helpful tips and tricks to show your mother that you really do care!

  • Mail her breakfast in bed.
  • Eliminate some of her workload by scheduling your own doctor’s appointment this time
  • Build her a special Mom House™.
  • Read her R.L. Stine’s classic “Stay Out of the Basement” through the locked basement door. Moms love text-to-world connections.
  • If your mother is in poor health, build her a coffin.
  • Why buy a bouquet of flowers when you can buy her a whole field of them, grown by yours truly. The patience and love that it took to care and provide for those flowers, from the time they were little seedlings to full-bloom blossoms is a clear manifestation of the tenderness and affection you have for your mother.
  • Let her know the goblet has been poisoned before your sword fight.
  • Kill your dad, wear his skin, take over his life, love your mom right.
  • Listen politely when she inappropriately mentions what a jackrabbit your father was in bed when the two of them were younger.
  • Give her money for a divorce.
  • Leave several small, dead birds at her doorstep.
  • Crawl back in.