Help! It’s My Second Rodeo But I Still Don’t Know What To Do

LIBERTY, TX— Onlookers at the Rip Roarin’ Rodeo were shocked Wednesday when prospective cowboy and local idiot Bucks McGee erred despite having previously attended a rodeo. “This ain’t my first rodeo, which ended with me in the ER and my johnson in the jaws of that damn longhorn,” recalled McGee, spitting tobacco juice through the gap between his remaining teeth. “I decided this time around I’d go for calf ropin’ since it don’t look like bull ridin’ is for me. But somehow I ended up with the rope wrapped around Mayor Biggs’s wife instead of the cow, and now I look like a fool in front of the boys.” At press time, McGee was optimistically signing up for a third rodeo.

About Gillian Smith 50 Articles
Flavius Octavius Julius Gaius Septimius, known colloquially as "Gillian the Great," is the 71st emperor of Rome. Her notable achievements include winning the 2021 Maryland BOGGLE state championship and not being assassinated yet.