Heartwarming! Virgins Across Nation Come Together Each Day To Guess Five Letter Word

U.S.A. — Thanks to the latest online craze, Wordle, virgins from coast to coast are bonding over the exciting opportunity to guess a new five-letter word daily. “Every day, when I finally see all five letters flip over as green, a wonderful sensation overwhelms my body in a way I’ve never experienced before,” said Mary Webster, an avid Wordle player who would like the Enabler to note to its readers that she is single and can also complete the New York Times Mini Crossword in under 30 seconds. “I haven’t had much luck on dating apps, so I deleted Tinder yesterday. I’m trading in red flags for green tiles and focusing on a new perfect match: an all green word.” At press time, Webster was spotted typing “ALONE” as her first guess for the day’s Wordle.

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Hanna Barlow is this many (she is holding up 21 fingers right now)