WESTWOOD — After attempting to participate in the LGBTQ Campus Resource Center’s event for Lesbian Visibility Week, one lesbian was deeply disappointed by the center’s failure to be considerate of her invisibility. “I attend every year, expecting something different. But once they get to discussing how important it is to ‘be visible’, I end up leaving…some of us just aren’t anything more than a floating carabiner, OKAY?” choked out fourth-year Dance major Clare Glass while sobbing and circling campus in what appeared to be a self-driving Subaru. “I’m just looking for community — It’s hard enough when my dates think I’ve ghosted them because they can’t see me sitting across the table. But at the end of the day, all I can do is keep trying.” At press time, a nearby group of event attendees were seen screaming and running away when a “possessed pair of jorts” started speaking to them.