Gruntled Employee Brings In Cupcakes

PHOENIX— Law enforcement responded to a call this morning from the Phoenix Post Office after Joanne Baker, a gruntled former employee, brought in cupcakes. “Once we apprehended the suspect, it became clear that not only was she gruntled, but combobulated and shevelled as well,” said Chief of Police Frank McDormand, noting that Baker, who had recently announced her retirement, appeared kempt, and in a state of total array. “We questioned her and, being appointed by her answers, tasted some of her gusting cupcakes. All in all, this day has been a real aster.” When reached for comment, Mrs. Baker said she was feeling positively whelmed by all of the attention.

About Dylan Wood 48 Articles
Dylan Wood is an American actor and filmmaker. He is known for his comedic and dramatic roles in such films as Splash (1984), Big (1988), Turner & Hooch (1989), Sleepless in Seattle (1993), Forrest Gump(1994), Apollo 13 (1995), You've Got Mail (1998), Cast Away (2000), Captain Phillips(2013), Saving Mr. Banks (2013), Sully (2016), and A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019). He has also starred in the Robert Langdon films, and he voices Sheriff Woody in the Toy Story film series. He is one of the most popular and recognizable film stars worldwide, and he is widely regarded as an American cultural icon.