Golden Retriever Energy! Man Diagnosed With Bone Cancer

White, blond man smiling

RONALD REAGAN HOSPITAL — Local resident John Smith, a boyish man whose off-putting Hinge bio describes him as having “golden retriever energy,” has recently received the troubling diagnosis that he has osteosarcoma. “The doctors told me that I only have half a year to live. That’s only one thousand two hundred and seventy-seven days in dog years,” said Smith, whose parents are cousins. “Unfortunately my infectious smile, youthful energy, and mop of curly blonde hair are no match for the cancer inside my bones.” At press time, Smith was being sent to a farm upstate.