Girl Who Switched From Glasses To Contacts Still As Unattractive As Ever

Citing the failure of her corrective lens change to transform her into a gorgeous super beauty, Walton deemed “The Princess Diaries” the “most fraudulent documentary ever made”.

RICHMOND, VA — Following several seconds of one-sided deliberation, classmates of Polk Middle School 7th grader Bethany Walton confirmed to reporters Tuesday that despite her transition from reading glasses to contacts, Walton was still as unattractive as ever. “For a lot of girls, ditching their glasses can make them instantly more beautiful, but not for Beth. No, she’s just as homely as before,” said close friend Donna Greene, adding that any more attempts by Walton to improve her appearance, such as letting her hair down, would not likely remedy the God-given unsightliness she has been haunted by since birth. Said classmate Benjamin Turner: “You do have to hand it to Beth for at least trying to be less hideous. I give her an ‘A’ for effort. Unfortunately, she’s still a ‘D’ when it comes to the looks department.” While Walton’s taking off of her glasses has failed to make her any more attractive, some bespectacled classmates have found that taking off their own glasses has made Walton appear less unattractive.

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A founding member of the Westwood Enabler, Chris is an aspiring comedy writer who sometimes writes in the third person. He's a real dreamboat. Website: Twitter: @chrisdemeaner