Gene Block Permanently Banned From All UCLA Stores

ACKERMAN UNION — Gene Block was permanently banned at the Ackerman branch of the UCLA store this morning for the act of [REDACTED] right next to the cash register. “I was there. I saw it alllll happen,” local bystander Jackson Snort whispered snottily into the Enabler staff writer’s ear. “I had to sign an NDA, but I’ll totally tell you guys everything. It was so funny, he totally [REDACTED] all over the place and I saw his [REDACTED] as he [REDACTED]. Oh and then what he did after was even better, ‘cause he totally [REDACTED] while nobody was watching, so no one could stop him before… before he… mmgmhthrmhmr.” At press time, a menacing group of lawyers was observed dragging Mr. Snort into a small, windowless room in Murphy Hall.