Geezer Alert! This UCLA Student Just Said “Covel” Instead Of “Epicuria”

WESTWOOD RETIREMENT HOME — Alleged UCLA student Trevor Child unintentionally revealed his true, prehistoric identity this week when he used the antiquated term “Covel” instead of “Epicuria.” “Call me old fashioned, but I don’t need none of those shiny new terms you whippersnappers keep throwing around like ‘Epicuria,’ ‘BruinLearn,’ or ‘Centennial,’” said Child, before shitting himself in his adult diaper. “Back in my day, the only daily survey we took was when we passed that polite young man in Bruin Plaza and he asked, ‘Ayo boss, can I ask you a question?’ Now I can’t walk through that plaza without hearing some nonsense like ‘Gene really put his whole Blockussy into that quarterly update.’” At press time, Child was having a seizure after the Enabler informed him that he could no longer call the grass hill on UCLA’s campus ‘Janss.’

About Hanna Barlow 16 Articles
Hanna Barlow is this many (she is holding up 21 fingers right now)