Gaslighting Boyfriend Correctly Describes Brain As “All in Your Head”

WESTWOOD — On Thursday evening, local gaslighting boyfriend Jayson “what’s ur snap?” Jones correctly described his girlfriend’s brain as “all in her head.” “Nothing you say ever makes sense. Periods happen because women complain too much. Economic recessions happen because women be shopping. You have a headache because your brain is all in your head,” said Jayson, who runs a side business reselling Puff Bars to middle schoolers. “You’re just crazy, babe. If you don’t stop acting this way, I’m gonna stay on Tinder.” At press time, Jayson could be seen monologuing about “nice guys like me” while making his signature “Jayson Juice,” which is just equal parts vodka and Fireball.

About Tatiana Davidson 18 Articles
Putin's second least favorite Jewish comedian.