Former Plane-Seat-Kicking Baby Now Lecture-Seat-Kicking Adult

WESTWOOD — The student who keeps kicking your seat during lecture recently disclosed that he has been training for this moment since he was a baby. “My parents were never supportive of this passion and always tried to get me to sleep, but I never gave up,” said second-year economics major Jeremy Sharma, who has honed his craft over the years in venues such as movie theaters, buses, and weddings. “Having this many years of experience really gives you a leg up in this field. Maybe one day someone will finally give in and play peek-a-boo with me.” At press time, you had turned around to glare at Sharma, but he had not looked up from watching Cocomelon on his iPad with the volume on full blast.

About Maya Chatrathi 29 Articles
Having only recently gained sentience, Maya Chatrathi is working twice as hard to get up to speed. Please be patient with her through this adjustment period.