Fetishist Senator Gravely Misunderstands U.S.’ Inflation Problem

WASHINGTON, D.C.— The office of Senator Martha Lovelace (R-AR) is scrambling to spin an unfortunate gaffe made in the joint committee on taxation hearings earlier today. “I think we need to take a note from the freaks out there and expand on some ideas about how to make sure everyone gets off,” said Lovelace, tenderly tracing the outline of her collarbone through her silk Ann Taylor Loft blouse. “But I suppose my question is: what is to be done with the carcasses after?” At press time, Lovelace was seen testing bike pumps on her summer interns.

About Lucas Humel 8 Articles
Lucas Humel is a middle aged divorcé with no known affiliation to the university. We are unaware of how he was able to get in contact with Enabler staff, and he refuses to tell us. He brings a steaming hot apple pie with an old fashioned wedge of cheddar on the side to every meeting and eats all of it before leaving in silence.