WASHINGTON, D.C. — Elon Musk was reportedly heard sobbing in a Fortnite Zero Build voice chat after being bullied by ELON_GETS_0_HOES, a 12-year-old in a Sabrina Carpenter skin. “What the helly ‘Bron James, you’re so mid, the only inefficiency DOGE needs to investigate is your loadout,” said ELON_GETS_0_HOES, emoting while a knocked-down Musk crawled around the map looking for a revive. “‘I am become meme?’ You are become dogshit at this game. Bro’s selling harder than his shareholders. TSPMO.” At press time, Musk was seen practicing a 360 noscope on AimLabs in a Tesla board meeting.
