Each Roommate Privately Wondering How The Others Are Dealing With Dwindling Hand Soap Supply

WESTWOOD — As the supply of bathroom hand soap diminished to a few bubbles per pump, residents of Gayley Heights apartment 703 were each privately wondering how the others were dealing with the crisis. “I bet they’re all just not washing their hands, those dirty pigs,” thought each roommate, separately and yet in unison. “They’re so gross and unhygienic, unlike me, who goes the extra mile to use body wash instead. I bet I’m the only one who’s thought of that.” At press time, the soap dispenser was being refilled with water for the fourth consecutive time.