WESTWOOD — Disastrous reports from the Douchebag Research Institute (the minds that broke the Patagonia-vest epidemic and “being written by a woman”) claim that the newest trend for men attempting to seem socially conscious is a proclaimed love for the “walkable city.” “My understanding of these lesser-known cities with a REAL community, like Paris or Barthelona, really sets me apart on Hinge,” claims Guy McDifferent, a 4th year Urban Planning major who has never gone (and will never go) deeper into LA than taking an Uber to Saffron and Rose. “By the way, this election stuff is crazy. I studied abroad in Montreal, so I’m pretty worried about the student visa thing, too.” At press time, McDifferent was seen searching his 23andMe results for a vague Western European heritage to claim in his Instagram bio.
