Dad Steals Baby’s Nose

26/365 - Hah!
The stolen nose was returned to infant Daniel Gutierrez who, in excitement, threw up on himself.

LOS ANGELES—Police have arrested local man Joseph Gutierrez in connection with stealing his baby’s nose. Gutierrez’s wife witnessed him playing with their son on Wednesday when Gutierrez suddenly made a lunging forward motion and abruptly stole the child’s nose.“Got your nose, kiddo! Got your nose,” Gutierrez reportedly yelled at his son. Following this physical altercation, Gutierrez then repeatedly ignored the toddler’s requests to return the nose, laughing and running off. At this point, Gutierrez’s wife called the police, and he was taken into custody. “This was a sophisticated, premeditated act by a cold-blooded criminal,” said Steve Soboroff, LA police commissioner. “And I just want to say–excuse me folks, I know this isn’t professional, but–What kind of animal steals his son’s nose?” At press time, Gutierrez has escaped from jail after distracting the guard by repeatedly removing and reattaching his own thumb.