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Colored Pencils

Colored Pencils — Standing up for what is right is never easy, except for Brittney Smith!

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Jay Leno Arrested After Aiming Chin At Conan O’Brien At Oscars Afterparty

HOLLYWOOD — Vanity Fair’s 2025 Oscar Party dissolved into a state of panic after former Tonight Show host Jay Leno aimed his chin at fellow […]
“Old UCLA Hoodie And Jeans” Receives Oscar For Best Costume Design

HOLLYWOOD — Tonight, the Academy of Motion Arts and Pictures has announced that the modern-classic, “Old UCLA Hoodie and Jeans,” has won an Oscar for […]
UCLA Housing Signs Dorm Furnishing Contract With Temu

WESTWOOD — In anticipation of even less housing space and even more budget cuts, UCLA Housing has attempted to cut costs by signing a dorm […]
Local Nun Confused By Concept Of “Gloryhole”

WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Sunday, a local nun was found baffled after she overheard the term “gloryhole” when she went to a park restroom during […]
U.S. Army Chorus Perform ‘Do You Hear The People Sing’ In Brave Protest Against Themselves

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Army Choir, who thought that ‘Les Miserables’ was French for ‘Miserable Lesbians’, conducted a fearless uprising against the U.S. military […]

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U.S. Army Chorus Perform ‘Do You Hear The People Sing’ In Brave Protest Against Themselves
4 Things I Refuse To Apologize For After Being Held Hostage By The Pirates Of The Caribbean Animatronics For 93 Days
Opinion: I’m Evacuating With My Custom Fantasy Tentacle Dildo And That’s IT

Douchebag Dogwhistle: Avoid Men Who Use The Phrase “Walkable Cities”
Local White Boy Makes Big Splash In Intramural Dodgeball Scene
Historic UCLA Rugby Hazing Ritual Ruined By Guy Who Just Loves To Drink Piss

STEM Major Still Has To Google Unit Circle
“The Democrats Ought To Do Something,” Says Democratic Lawmaker Doing Nothing
Opinion: If Your Class Has A Week 9 Midterm, I Should Be Allowed To Skip The Final

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