CCLE To Be Publicly Executed

WESTWOOD — After years of complaints from staff and students, Gene Block announced that he will personally execute the CCLE course management system. “A few professors with weak stomachs have suggested euthanasia. Do I look like goddamn Switzerland?” said Block, blood-lust simmering behind his eyes as he menacingly caressed a monitor announcing twelve hours of “routine maintenance” during finals week. “I’ve armed the ROTC kids and I’m prepared to unleash them. Whatever’s left of the servers after that, I’m burning at the stake.” At press time, Block was readying the gallows after learning students using Canvas were unable to submit finals.