Tom Holland To Play Timothée Chalamet In Upcoming Biopic
HOLLYWOOD — Marvel star Tom Holland has been confirmed to play Timothée Chalamet in the highly anticipated biopic, an announcement which follows the recent casting […]
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Archaeologists Discover First Woman To Ever Put “Future Milf” In Her Tinder Bio
WESTWOOD — A team of UCLA archaeologists announced Monday that, after years of digging, they have uncovered the first woman to ever write “future milf” […]
Mom Who Gave You Eating Disorder Has No Idea Why Everyone In Therapy These Days
LOS ANGELES — On Saturday evening, your mother who definitely gave you an eating disorder announced her disbelief at the number of your friends who […]
Generational Trauma? Mom Looks Kind Of Sad
HOME — Your mother was seen looking sad on Monday evening, leading family members to believe she was suffering from the impact of generational trauma. […]
Jack Nicholson Found Alive At 85
LOS ANGELES — According to various sources, Jack Nicholson, the actor best known for his roles in iconic films like The Shining and Chinatown, was […]
Six Self Love Exercises That Even Your Dumb Little Brain Could Do
With the most stressful weeks of the quarter beginning, it’s important you’re prepared for the onslaught of hate, both from within and without. Here are […]
5’8” Men Now Listing “One Tom Holland” As Height On Tinder
LOS ANGELES — Following the release of “Spiderman: No Way Home,” data scientists at Tinder report that men who are 5’8” are now changing their […]
Almost Getting Trampled, And Other UCLA Student Activities You Must Do Before Graduating
With a hustlin’ and bustlin’ campus filled with over 30,000 undergraduate students, it can be hard to keep track of all UCLA has to offer, […]
Opinion: The Pope Isn’t As Hot As My Dad
VATICAN CITY — How many times do I have to say this? Pope Francis isn’t the hottest old white guy out there! Every freaking time […]
Staff Suggestions For Thanksgiving Quarantine Activities
This truly has been an unprecedented year! It is difficult to spend the holidays apart from family, and we at the Westwood Enabler know how […]