Birthday Girl Neglected By World For Remaining 364 Days Of The Year
TOLEDO, OH — Following the birthday celebration of 20-year old Ayah Zobi, all living organisms from protists to senior citizens across all 196 nations of […]
TOLEDO, OH — Following the birthday celebration of 20-year old Ayah Zobi, all living organisms from protists to senior citizens across all 196 nations of […]
WESTWOOD – After an academically disappointing quarter, a group of second-year UCLA students has resolved to start procrastinating earlier next quarter. “Normally I don’t feel guilty […]
WESTWOOD – Recent reports from UCLA groundskeepers indicate that 6AM is the ideal time to leaf-blow the area outside of the dorms. “It’s so quiet, […]
by Nathan Guzik Robotics Engineers at MIT have made substantial progress on a revolutionary new model of robot, expected to attain sentience and enslave all […]
LONDON—It’s evening and Rick Astley stands along a section of waterfront in a nameless side street in West London. He sports a pale tan trenchcoat […]
WESTWOOD—In what began as a potential footnote on an extra credit paper for the course HIST151P, History of Scottish Paedophilia, 3rd year Communications major Lou […]
WESTWOOD—Noting the present difficulty in performing cross-building vaults, badass flips, roof-to-roof diving rolls and miscellaneous leaps, UCLA’s parkour club submitted a petition today demanding that […]
LOS ANGELES — As seems to be the case with most if not all of our cherished American traditions, Black Friday has a much “darker” […]
WASHINGTON D.C. – This Wednesday, President Obama participated in the annual tradition of the Thanksgiving Turkey Pardon. Unusually, Obama chose a turkey from Guantanamo Bay. Truffles […]
WESTWOOD—“I’ve never felt so bitterly disappointed in my life,” said freshman Emily Offshore. Like many others, Offshore visited UCLA’s Enormous Activities Fair (EAF) to view the […]
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