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Opinion

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Op-Ed: I Don’t See Color, I Have a Serious Disability

May 1, 2017 Timothy Ang 0

It’s been all over the news lately – #BlackLivesMatter, #BlueLivesMatter, #WhiteLivesMatterToo. People are arguing left and right that they don’t see color, or that color […]

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Point: BU is Stinky/Counterpoint: All the Independents Have Cooties

April 30, 2017 Jessica Waite 0

Point: BU is Stinky  by Ashley Jacobson (Independent) Bruins United is stinky! I mean, look at those guys! They all share the same values and […]

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Op-Ed: Cynthia, We’re Done, Please Drop 14C So I Don’t Have To

April 30, 2017 Cathy Guizar 0

Cynthia, we’re done. I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry we broke up, but we had to. It really wasn’t working out. We’ve sorted our stuff […]

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Op-Ed: I Went to the Career Fair and All I Got Was This Sunburn

April 24, 2017 Samantha Waters 0

Ah, the career fair. Such fun! Such wonder!   Like many other students, I woke up early, got dressed up in a business casual sleeveless […]

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Op-Ed: So Pedophilia Is The Line?

February 20, 2017 Milo Yiannopoulos 0

As the world’s most dangerous faggot™ I, Milo Yiannopoulos, have always strived to present the true and disturbing facts about the cancerous spread of third […]

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Op-Ed: Liberals, Stop Calling Your Fake News “Satire”

February 12, 2017 Concerned Conservative 0

With all the fake news circulating social media the past few months, some would say the blurred lines of fact and fiction have felt like […]

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POINT: We Need To Save Vine / COUNTERPOINT: If Anyone Cared About Vines, Our Rainforests Wouldn’t Be Disappearing

November 13, 2016 Hannah Page 0

Point We Need To Save Vine By: Rebecca McKinley We need to save Vine. That’s really all there is to it. These hilarious six-second videos […]

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Op-Ed: Being Called A Whore On Bruinwalk Led Me To God

November 7, 2016 Former Yoga Pants Wearer 0

Every sinner has a chance to repent. I was a sinner, and I didn’t even know it. I lived every day of my life thinking […]

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Submission: The Westwood Enabler Should Avoid Writing Biased Articles on Bruin Republicans

October 28, 2016 Bruin Republicans Board 0

As UCLA students, we look to the Westwood Enabler when we’re bored in class or sitting on the toilet. Unfortunately, it is now more evident […]

40,000 Students and Not One of Them Has Found the Goose That Lays the Golden Eggs

September 29, 2016 Gene D. Block 0

Dear Students, As we begin the new quarter, it is important that we do not lose sight of what binds all Bruins together: our common […]

Posts pagination

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  • UCPD Relapses After Suffering Arrest Withdrawals

    WESTWOOD – Last night, UCPD relapsed in their ongoing addiction to arresting innocent students by violently swarming a movie screening and arresting two attendees. “The […]

  • UCPD Arrests Student For Thinking About Palestine

    WESTWOOD — UCPD officers reported that their week of sitting on their asses at Royce has finally proven useful as they arrested a passerby for […]

  • Man standing in a mirror maze, pointing to reflections of himself. He looks very bewildered.

    Other Idiots in Mirror Maze Going The Wrong Way

    HELL — Following a trip to the local mirror maze, resident genius Leon Noel scoffed at all the morons in there going the wrong direction. […]

  • Julio Frenk’s “Listening Exercise” Is Cuck Play Where He Listens To Me And My Lover Through The Door

    Dear Bruin Community: Since Julio began his listening exercise in February, I have met with 29 men and women, and more than 5,000 non-binary baristas, […]

  • Idiot Moron Claps At Poetry Reading

    WESTWOOD — This morning, fourth-year American literature and culture major Emily Yonicson humiliated herself and her family as she clapped, not snapped, at a local […]

Featured Authors

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Gabe McNeill
  • Five Reasons Why I Didn’t Ruin The Vibe By Throwing Up In De Neve
  • Opinion: They Should Let The New Pope Have Gay Sex Once So He Can See If It Should Still Be Banned Or Not
  • Other Idiots in Mirror Maze Going The Wrong Way
Sam Rusk
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style
  • Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder

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