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Hottest Spot For Grad Photos Is Sidewalk Pit Outside Of CVS

May 18, 2022 Gabby Bromberg 0

WESTWOOD — UCLA seniors are taking their grad photos at the hottest spot in town: the sidewalk pit outside of CVS. “In some ways, it’s […]

Gen Z Ultrasound Assistant Groans Every Time Baby Going To Be A Gemini

March 14, 2022 Melissa Beining 0

LOS ANGELES — Twenty-three year old perinatal assistant Jessica Fieldman groans every time an ultrasound predicts the baby will be a Gemini. “I just can’t […]

Facebook Rant Strikes Perfect Balance Between “1984” References And Holocaust Comparisons

February 8, 2022 Gabby Bromberg 0

HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA — Herb Matthew reached the pinnacle of his Facebook career Tuesday, after his latest rant struck the perfect balance between references to […]

Opinion: I Went Undercover To Expose Frat Culture And I’m Having The Time Of My Life

November 29, 2021 Max Flora 0

WESTWOOD — When I arrived on the first day of rush, I was a man with a mission. It was my first time ever encountering […]

Opinion: Your Sleeping Roommate Doesn’t Matter

November 4, 2021 Anonymous Roommate 0

You’ve woken up bright and early. 7:50 am on a Tuesday. You cast a glance at your smug roommate in their immaculate fortress of fluff […]

Opinion: The Pope Isn’t As Hot As My Dad

October 19, 2021 Gillian Smith 0

VATICAN CITY — How many times do I have to say this? Pope Francis isn’t the hottest old white guy out there! Every freaking time […]

Op-Ed: Everyone Is Getting COVID Without Me And I Have Major FOMO

March 27, 2021 Bill DeWaal 0

How would you feel if every day you checked the news and saw that hundreds of thousands of people were going to a party, and […]

UCLA Campus Available To Sublet Spring Quarter, Utilities Included

March 10, 2021 Jay Varhula 0

WESTWOOD — At 3 a.m. PST Monday morning, the UCLA Board of Directors released a statement on the “UCLA Free And For Sale” Facebook page […]

Op-Ed: I’m Tired Of Writing Fluff Pieces For The Westwood Enabler

March 3, 2021 Analisa Burns 0

As a member of the premiere satirical newspaper at UCLA, I personally feel like I’m being held back. I know I got what it takes […]

Roommate Going To Finish Bananas This Time

October 6, 2020 Jay Varhula 0

WESTWOOD — After returning from Ralphs today at 12:30 p.m. PST, your roommate assured you that he is definitely going to finish the bananas he […]

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  • Opinion: Your Sleeping Roommate Doesn’t Matter

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