Opinion: I Can’t Believe It’s Already Week 9
Wow, can you believe it’s almost the end of the quarter? Time sure does fly! It feels like the first day of school was just […]
Murmurs & Rants
UCLA’s Final Offer: Replace All TAs With This Cute Widdle Guy
WESTWOOD — In a bold move, UCLA officials have announced plans to fire all teaching assistants and replace them with Mr. Pudding. “We are always […]
Trend Watch! The Case To Bring Back Lead Poisoning
From bell-bottoms to tube tops, the next generation is scouring the history books for new and exciting ways to kick it old-school. But fashion doesn’t […]
Opinion: USC Students Are Dumb Poopyheads
People make many arguments as to why UCLA is better than USC, or vice versa. Some people say UCLA has a higher academic ranking. Others […]
Opinion: If The Westwood Enabler Has 2000 Followers, Why Aren’t 2000 People Liking My Article?
Fake news. Misinformation. Deceit. These aren’t just words I searched up on Google to make me look smart. They also represent real issues I have […]
Report: Classmate Who Is “Bad With Names” Actually Despises You
WESTWOOD — Enabler reporters have confirmed that the classmate who still has not learned your name after four weeks harbors a deep and profound hatred […]
Opinion: If Ned Fulmer Can Do It, So Will Your Boyfriend
Did you just celebrate your two year anniversary with Sweetie Cakes? Everything’s going well, he bought you flowers and gifts, and promised to love you […]
New Study Reveals All
WESTWOOD — A new study from UCLA has revealed the intimate, juicy details of her life in an exclusive tell-all interview with the Enabler. “You […]
UCLA Taskforce Taskforce Tasked With Enforcing Taskforce Tasks
WESTWOOD — In a fairly precedented move, UCLA’s Department of Redundancy recently announced the formation of a Taskforce Taskforce, which will be tasked with enforcing […]