New Study Shows This Other Gorilla Seriously Starting To Piss Me Off
CENTRAL AFRICA — A new study from the jungle has found that this other gorilla is seriously starting to piss me off. “Stop copying me!” […]
Murmurs & Rants
Opinion: Hinge Isn’t Working. It’s Time To Start Fucking My Friends
Dating apps are difficult. Yeah, I said it. “Heyyyyy haha! I also like cats! Lolz!” “WYD” “Taking a shower? Without me?” And I get nothing. […]
Top Five Books That Could’ve Been An Email
To Whom It May Concern, In today’s world, clear and concise communication is more important than ever. Electronic messaging has revolutionized almost every aspect of […]
Meant To Be: The Cruel And Beautiful Strings Of Fate Have Caused Our Paths To Cross On This Four-Way Crosswalk
Hello again, stranger. It’s funny, isn’t it? How life works. Despite meeting mere moments ago, our bodies are now locked in an ancient ritual, performing […]
Opinion: Today, Of All Days, We Should Be Serious.
I get it. We all love April Fool’s day; we all like to have a little chuckle. We’ve got some reeeaal jokesters among us. But […]
5 Reasons Your Door Lock Is Always Mad At You
Every day you come home and your door lock just refuses to tell you what it’s upset about this time. Juggling the day’s groceries in […]
I Lived It: Guy I Told My Friends About Has Only One Instagram Post From 2018
It seemed too good to be true. And I was right. After two dates, the guy from that meet-cute dream encounter gave me his Instagram […]
Point: Wire Mother Kind Of Serving / Counterpoint: Cloth Mother Ate It Up And Left No Crumbs
Point: Wire Mother Kind Of Serving By: A Baby Rhesus Monkey Okay, is it just me or is wire mother lowkey serving today? I was […]
“Do You Want To Feel My Stress Hives?” And Other Exciting Conversation Starters To Get Out Of Working On Your Group Project
This fun icebreaker is sure to create a sense of camaraderie among the group members as well as make those bitches realize they need to […]
Weird! This Woman Has Legs For Days
ISLE OF MAN — Sources report that local woman Amy Fuller has got a real pair of stems on her. “I’ve seen a leg or […]