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Murmurs & Rants

Opinion: I Can’t Believe It’s Already Week 9

January 27, 2023 Jade Lacy 0

Wow, can you believe it’s almost the end of the quarter? Time sure does fly! It feels like the first day of school was just […]

UCLA’s Final Offer: Replace All TAs With This Cute Widdle Guy

December 14, 2022 Aidan Brooks 0

WESTWOOD — In a bold move, UCLA officials have announced plans to fire all teaching assistants and replace them with Mr. Pudding. “We are always […]

Trend Watch! The Case To Bring Back Lead Poisoning

December 1, 2022 Lucas Humel 0

From bell-bottoms to tube tops, the next generation is scouring the history books for new and exciting ways to kick it old-school. But fashion doesn’t […]

Opinion: USC Students Are Dumb Poopyheads

November 18, 2022 Gabe McNeill 0

People make many arguments as to why UCLA is better than USC, or vice versa. Some people say UCLA has a higher academic ranking. Others […]

Opinion: If The Westwood Enabler Has 2000 Followers, Why Aren’t 2000 People Liking My Article?

November 12, 2022 Rujula Rao 0

Fake news. Misinformation. Deceit. These aren’t just words I searched up on Google to make me look smart. They also represent real issues I have […]

Report: Classmate Who Is “Bad With Names” Actually Despises You

October 18, 2022 Jade Lacy 0

WESTWOOD — Enabler reporters have confirmed that the classmate who still has not learned your name after four weeks harbors a deep and profound hatred […]

Opinion: If Ned Fulmer Can Do It, So Will Your Boyfriend

October 16, 2022 Serena Lee 0

Did you just celebrate your two year anniversary with Sweetie Cakes? Everything’s going well, he bought you flowers and gifts, and promised to love you […]

Westwood Streets Shut Down For Joe Biden

October 16, 2022 Jade Lacy 0

New Study Reveals All

July 15, 2022 Maya Chatrathi 0

WESTWOOD — A new study from UCLA has revealed the intimate, juicy details of her life in an exclusive tell-all interview with the Enabler. “You […]

UCLA Taskforce Taskforce Tasked With Enforcing Taskforce Tasks

April 4, 2022 Dylan Wood 0

WESTWOOD — In a fairly precedented move, UCLA’s Department of Redundancy recently announced the formation of a Taskforce Taskforce, which will be tasked with enforcing […]

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Lucas Humel
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