The Westwood Enabler
  • Home
  • On The Paper
  • News
    • Campus
    • National
    • International
  • Opinion
    • Point/Counterpoint
  • Listicle
  • A&E
    • Arts
    • Celebrities
    • Culture
    • Trend Watch
  • Sports
  • Graphics
    • News In Pictures
    • Infographics
  • About
    • Staff
    • Join
    • Contact
  • Store

Culture

Someone glaring at another person standing in a corner at a party

I Lived It: The Corner I Was Going To Stand In At The Party Got Taken

May 31, 2025 Dana Badii 0

As a Mysterious Fella, it’s important for me to have a nice corner to stand in at parties. There’s really nothing like holding a clammy […]

Cinematic: Woman Spends Movie Runtime Drafting Her Letterboxd Review

May 29, 2025 Dana Badii 0

LOS ANGELES — Last night, one woman decided to unwind with a new movie by spending the entire runtime drafting her Letterboxd review. “I take […]

Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes

May 28, 2025 Gabe McNeill 0

Just the other day, I was walking to campus, my fresh, virgin eyes bright and cheery, excited to see the world and all the glory […]

Roommate Taking Too Long To Read “Atomic Habits” Explodes

May 26, 2025 Jules Francis 0

WESTWOOD – A second-year detonated late Monday night after spending eight agonizing months trying to finish James Clear’s “Atomic Habits.” “They bought it Week 0 […]

A white boy and Asian girl standing outside Marugame Udon

White Boy With Asian Girlfriend Too Excited To Celebrate AAPI Month

May 24, 2025 Maggie Kwan 0

WESTWOOD — After making yet another joke about “sucking balls” while ordering boba, first-year Global Studies major Brayden Smith made an Instagram post where he […]

Embarrassing! Student Doesn’t Have Outfit For Victorian French Gothic Hyperpop Themed Fundrager

May 23, 2025 Shayne Sweet 0

WESTWOOD — This weekend, civil engineering freshman James Baeseck was humiliated as he failed to show up in theme to the unsustainable fashion club’s Victorian […]

Opinion: The Ackerman Third Floor Gay Cruising Space Should Be A Designated Cultural Heritage Site

May 20, 2025 Gabe McNeill 0

Dear Julio Frenk, UCLA has been under a lot of controversy lately. The encampments and the mob attack on them, the cops everywhere, deportations, budget […]

Report: Someone Broke Into My Dorm And Left All This Bong Smoke Here

May 19, 2025 Tucker Park 0

WESTWOOD — Unease settled over the Hill last night as UCLA Housing warned of a mysterious break-in which left one student’s dorm filled with a […]

It’s True! The Dumbest Man You’ve Ever Met Has Started A Substack

May 18, 2025 Jules Francis 0

WESTWOOD — Standing at a handsome 5-foot-6, known idiot, failed Biz Econ major, and your sophomore-year Hinge match Brayden Johnson has decided to start a […]

Elon Musk crying.

Elon Musk Bullied To Tears In Fortnite Voice Chat

May 17, 2025 Maggie Kwan 0

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Elon Musk was reportedly heard sobbing in a Fortnite Zero Build voice chat after being bullied by ELON_GETS_0_HOES, a 12-year-old in a […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3 … 29 »

  • Top Five Father’s Day Gifts For A Dad Who Doesn’t Golf Or Grill Or Fish Or Camp Or Mow The Lawn

    Happy Father’s Day! Fortunately for you, your dad isn’t one of those basic losers who actually gets out of the house and does something on […]

  • Pros And Cons Of Texting Your Hometown Situationship Right Before Summer Vacation

    Summer is nigh. The end of finals is in sight, and unless you were lucky enough to get accepted into some fancy internship in Palo […]

  • Blue and yellow UCLA-themed vibrators at the Hilltop shop

    Anxious For Finals? Hilltop Shop Releases UCLA Vibrators

    WESTWOOD — In light of test-taking jitters, the Hilltop Shop has released UCLA-themed vibrators ahead of finals. “I really wanted to buy the Blue Bullet […]

  • Naked guy at the UCLA undie run

    Trend Watch: Going Commando At Undie Run

    Enough is enough. Every time the UV level is a 7, everybody and their mother is out getting sunburnt on Janss in a bikini top. […]

  • Top Five Easiest Felonies To Get Your Finals Cancelled

    Uh oh. Finals are already here, and despite saying you were going to “lock in next week” for the past nine weeks, you haven’t a […]

Featured Authors

mm
Gabe McNeill
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
  • Opinion: The Ackerman Third Floor Gay Cruising Space Should Be A Designated Cultural Heritage Site
Sam Rusk
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style
  • Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder

ARCHIVES

RECOMMENDED

  • Report: Never Trust How You Feel About Your Life From 12AM To 11:59PM

    May 22, 2025 0
  • Secretary of Defense Announces That Only The “Boy Lesbians” Will Be Eligible for Future Drafts

    May 21, 2025 0
  • Opinion: The Ackerman Third Floor Gay Cruising Space Should Be A Designated Cultural Heritage Site

    May 20, 2025 0
  • Report: Someone Broke Into My Dorm And Left All This Bong Smoke Here

    May 19, 2025 0
  • It’s True! The Dumbest Man You’ve Ever Met Has Started A Substack

    May 18, 2025 0

Copyright © 2025 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes