Straight Basketball Players Unionize After Highest Gay Per Capita WNBA Draft
NEW YORK CITY — Straight WNBA players are more outnumbered than ever after the 2025 Draft, sparking the formation of the Straight Union of Ballers […]
Gay
Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
WESTWOOD — In light of Trump’s new bans on transgender healthcare, the Ashe Center has teamed up with the Samueli School of Computer Science to […]
J.D. Vance Just Happy To Be Included In Group Chat For Once
WASHINGTON, D.C. — When reached for comment about his inclusion in the Houthi PC Small Group Signal chat, Vice President J.D. Vance admitted he was […]
UCLA’S Top Five Sexually Eligible Statues
5. John Wooden It’s no surprise that a man whose first and last names both mean penis is coming in hot on this list. John […]
Top Five Goonable Robots
Robots. One of the greatest and most attractive inventions ever thought up. They can help you with chores, they have superhuman strength, and best of […]
Opinion: Red Flag? Green Flag? It’s Time To Wave The White Flag of Surrender
I see you, sitting there on some dating app. I know you desperately lingered in the Rocco’s line last weekend, hoping by the grace of […]
Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder
WESTWOOD — Second-year Theater major and non-binary messiah Cricket Vanderbilt made history this week as the first queer elder born after the invention of Facebook. […]
Opinion: There Should Be Female Frats For Hey Mamas Lesbians
UCLA Greek life is undeniably captivating. During rush, inspired, I found myself at an impasse, deciding where I would fit in to all of this. […]